National Coming Out Day - October 11

National Coming Out Day (NCOD) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day 

This is an annual awareness day that is observed on October 11 to support any LGBT+ member "coming out" of the closet, whether it be to their significant other, their family, their smaller circle of friends, colleagues, or the whole world.

The first NCOD in the United States was in 1988 (marking its 35th anniversary in 2022).  

NCOD Observance is also done in Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and United Kingdom. 

In the United States, NCOD is sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign with annual themes.

At the very beginning, it was grounded in the feminist and gay/ lesbian liberation spirit and the most basic form of activism being living life as an openly lesbian or gay person. The psychology behind this is that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance. People who know they are loved by their family, friends, and colleagues, even after coming out, are far less likely to maintain homophobic or oppressive views.

I do not personally care too much about that psychological explanation. I don't believe all gays and lesbians, and other LGBT+ members, suffer from homophobia. At least my simple child does not, other than some non-believing jokes about moving to Texas with me and being shot in the parking lot (however, for that valid phobia, I am willing to allow her to live with her father in California in her senior year of high school, so that she could have her peace of mind). I also don't believe by coming out, homophobia will go away overnight. It is more complicated than that.

But, as someone who is somewhat free spirited, someone who wants to treat others the way she wants to be treated, I want to be my truest self, I want to hold up my value system (which may overlap but not necessarily identical to other value systems such as the law, culture, or religions). I want the freedom to make my own conscious decisions and take full responsibilities for the consequences, while at the same time making sure I am a contributing member of the society and I am here to marginally make the world a better place.

One of the biggest social transitions we did early on after my kid came out to me was to take her to our local Pride Fest. I was up close and cheering and whistling and waving. I was wearing rainbow all over me. I was a strong ally, basically. But, I was not a member. I knew the euphoria I got was coming from being a good and supportive person, not from being accepted or belonging like the real LGBT+ members feel. My child, shy and worried, hid behind a tree peeking out most of the time, she did not want to be associated with a crazy and loud mom, but, I saw the beaming light in her eyes and the blush cheeks on her face. She was clearly excited, and I, in that moment, knew for sure I must accompany her on this long journey to happiness, and I will fight if I have to.