Today, I found out about my kid's chosen name. As you can see, the "my daughter/ my girl/ she/ her" pronoun has not come naturally to me when I talk about my child and there are various reasons for that.
- My child is not ready to come out publicly (not even to their siblings) and I am unsure what I should do but I think my child should be the lead
- In most social contexts, except for being in a private closed-door room with their physician, I have to refer to them as "he/ him/ his" to avoid unnecessary attention
- Between going half-way to "they/ them/ their" and all the way to "she/ her/ her", I am not convinced one is better than the other or two-step is needed
- My child has a very masculine first name, and not making it better, a very masculine nickname, which they have learned how to ignore/ to cope with
Anyway, we have made little progress. The first appointment with the specialists at the Gender Health Services won't happen until mid-October. And I suspect hormone therapy won't start before 2023.
We have bought girl clothing for their first job at the pizzeria. It is barely noticeable due to the fact these are tan uniform shorts and pants and look almost unisex to me. They excitedly whispered into my ears "the girls' pockets are so shallow".
We have shaved the whole body down - armpit, legs, private. It feels good for a short while but we now have to explore waxing or laser treatment for long-lasting effects. The joy on the face, the beaming light in the eyes, somebody really hated the hair.
We have bought a few small girl accessories - some pink stuff for the room, a tiara, I am not ready to paint the wall but definitely want to go with bedding and unisex clothing (it is not easy to do things in a subtle way so that my other kid would not notice yet).
We have thought of changing preferred name as well as changing legal name on the documents, preferably matching in time to avoid issues during high school graduation, college application, and similar matters. They never told me what name they would like.
Today, we have received a shirt in the mail. This was bought by my kid using some gift card money from their best friend as a birthday gift not long ago when they turned sixteen.
The label was addressed to "Amber..." My heart just melted. I will save the envelope in my keepsakes, it marks a significant step for us. One is lucky to pick their own names? :)
AMBER
Amber is of French, Latin, Celtic origin, meaning “amber-colored”. This gemstone name is derived from the Arabic Ambar, meaning “jewel”. In Hindi, Amber has roots in Sanskrit, meansing“the sky”. This precious moniker is related to Opal, Sapphire, Ruby, and Pearl.
Amber is actually fossilized resin from evergreen trees.
It looks and feels similar and is often treated as gemstone,
having been a popular element in decoration and adornment for many
years. Many believe amber stone has a number of mystical/ metaphysical properties.
